2 Matching Contest - Angsty Haiku - Favorites

Fall 2012 • Millikin University

faded tattoo
the memories
never forgotten

Austin Brettshneider

thick makeup
over a black eye
she does not look back

Skya Gentle

kissing in the park
love birds in the dark
I want to vomit

Ryan Fraedrich

lean in close
for warmth first kiss
ashtray mouth

Austin Myers

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thick makeup
over a black eye
she does not look back

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kissing in the park
love birds in the dark
I want to vomit

 

arrow down

thick makeup
over a black eye
she does not look back

top quarter champion

 

TOP half Chamption

I get to see her
every day
with someone else

 

bottom quarter champion

I get to see her
every day
with someone else

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I get to see her
every day
with someone else

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an ocean away
his last kiss
on her lips

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I get to see her
every day
with someone else

Rob Spurling

he likes her
she likes him
but he's gay, right?

Geoffrey Eggleston

mother gone
I ask
who's dad with?

Christopher Potter

an ocean away
his last kiss
on her lips

Danielle Mohrbach

 

TOP half champion

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I get to see her
every day
with someone else

 

 

CHAMPION

I get to see her
every day
with someone else


 

 

love letters
the address isn't
hers

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BOTTOM half champion

hasty love poems
on scrap paper—
torn to shreds

Danielle Mohrbach

single rose
with a lonely question
I check maybe

Hannah Gifford

icy rain
waiting for your answer
I dance

Skya Gentle

love letters
the address isn't
hers

Danielle Mohrbach

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hasty love poems
on scrap paper—
torn to shreds

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love letters
the address isn't
hers

 

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love letters
the address isn't
hers

top quarter champion

 

BOTTOM half champion

love letters
the address isn't
hers

 

bottom quarter champion

she comes back drunk
gotta take care of her
ruins my night too

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she comes back drunk
gotta take care of her
ruins my night too

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I find my name
in her suicide note
summer love

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she comes back drunk
gotta take care of her
ruins my night too

Rob Spurling

Tuesday night
I pass another beer
over the fire pit

R Nicole

I find my name
in her suicide note
summer love

Austin Myers

the band-aid
torn off quickly
breaking up

Ryan Fraedrich

© 2012, Randy Brooks • Millikin University. All rights returned to authors upon publication.

hasty love poems
on scrap paper
torn to shreds

single rose
with a lonely question
I check maybe

thick makeup
over a black eye
she does not look back

Tuesday night
I pass another beer
over the fire pit

I like this match because both of the are about near rejection but have a small possibility of home. The first poem is about a person tearing up their badly written love poems. it seems to be about this person tearing up the poems in anger, but it could be for an entirely different reason. They could have finally gotten over this person, or they could have finally written the perfect poem to them. More obviously, in the other person the word maybe seems to be a nicer way of saying no, but there is the faint, almost impossible chance that it means yes. Skya

As terrible as this sounds, this is the first pair I thought of. I pictured a terrible excuse of a man getting drunk with his friends. Then getting home on a Tuesday night and hitting his girlfriend, who then decides she has had enough. I think these two would accurately describe the cowardice of a man like that, as well as the strength the woman should have. Nobody deserves to be treated that way and she should leave. I can just feel the strength and defiance in the woman, while picturing the careless, pitiful excuse of a man. Ryan

I find my name
in her suicide note
summer love

the band-aid
torn off quickly
breaking up

she comes back drunk
gotta take care of her
ruins my night too

I find my name
in her suicide note
summer love

I really liked this pair, because they both feel painful. The top one just has this heavy hit to it, like a giant weight. The second one isn’t as painful. It makes me think of getting broken up with over a text message, which sucks. It’s super painful but only briefly, then there’s a residual pain afterwards that’s just there but kind of annoying but not a crushing weight. This was probably the most depressing pair and the most emotional pair and most clearly defined emotional context. Rob

I feel as though both of these haiku could be about the same girl. I picture a well-put-together guy who can have fun while handling life being burdened by the wild side of his depressed girlfriend, who likes to get drunk and/or high all the time. He could be staying in on a Friday or Saturday night, because he has to work early the next day. If it weren't for that, he'd be out with his girlfriend. Being emotional, she might get belligerently drunk, because she is mad at him for not going out with her. Naturally, that would ruin his night when she comes back to his residence. The second one connects, because she could realize her continuous drunkenness and out-of-control actions are nothing but a burden to her boyfriend, who despite everything, she still loves deeply. So, being depressed and emotional, she decides to commit suicide, only after leaving him a suicide note. Both haiku are good in my opinion, and I find it very interesting how well they both link up. If the order in which I put them is viewed as chronological, a feeling of disgust and sadness is maintained over the whole story told by these two haiku. I feel as though he calls it "summer love" because the relationship was intended to be a very positive thing at the beginning of the summer but his girlfriend threw it away, due to the problems she was having. Seth

he likes her
she likes him
but he's gay, right?

rainy day
we watch movies and cuddle
just friends

kissing in the dark
lovebirds in the park
I want to vomit

every day
he sees her
with someone else

I wanted these haiku to be paired together so bad. I read "rainy day" first and immediately thought of my haiku "she likes him." I have been in both of these situations more times than I am willing to admit. Some of the lines are interchangeable between the two to achieve similar effects. The last line of "rainy day" could easily replace the last line of "she likes him." The situations are almost exactly the same. Geoffrey

What a contrast! The first haiku made me laugh out loud the first time it was read (and most of the  subsequent times I read it). Such an experience is universal. I never had a serious boyfriend until I came to college, and, up until then, either was disdainful or desperate for love. If I was feeling either way particularly strongly, the sight of happy couples could make me roll my eyes, pout, or weep for my sad, lonely existence. Even now that I'm in a wonderful relationship, I tend to scoff at couples who far too publically display their affection. However, the second haiku is something that I haven't experienced, but is still deeply affecting. I can't imagine the pain one would feel if they had to repeatedly see a former significant other with a new boyfriend or girlfriend. The memories of their former love and happiness would inevitably come back to haunt them each and every day. I love that the first haiku is silly, and the other, somber, and yet they both have an undeniable angst. Danielle M

love letters
the address isn't
hers

I find my name
in her suicide note
summer love

 

 

I pictured a gruesome tale of a woman who was writing letters to a lover of hers from college. He moved around a lot because of his fathers job and so they never stayed in one place too long. She sent him letters as often as possible, direly waiting for responses from him. Unfortunately he stopped receiving the mail. Caught by distress at the fact she was no longer receive replies from her lover, she sunk into deep depression. Then one summer, he goes to visit her finally. Upon coming to the doorstep of his former lover's abode. He's halted by her mother. She tells him that recently she took her own life. Though she left a letter to him. Christopher