dirty tear stained faces
an old red wagon
full of treasures

old and lonely
no family to gather
neighbor’s heart filled welcome

edited to:

a neighbor's welcome
brings a smile
to her old, lonely face

Welcome
the lonely neighbor
joins his new family

sun peeking in the window
she bends over to check the turkey
her mother in the shadow

shadows appear
the infamous whistle sounds
my father waits at the door

A Whisper in the Wind
Gives peace
To the Weeping Willow

edited to:

the weeping willow
whispers hope
in the spring night

Oranges
last minute stocking filler
family tradition

Edited to:

every year an orange
makes my stocking heavy
family tradition

family tradition
last minute stocking stuffer
an orange

Family tradition
oranges are added to
each Christmas stocking

Fruit in the Christmas stockings was a tradition in my family too - along with chewing gum and an assortment of inexpensive little trinkets. Stockings were always fun because they were usually forgotten until things just started to settle down from the package opening frenzy....and then, round 2 began with someone remembering that stockings hadn't been opened yet.   Yippee, there's more! Starr

first big snow
the shovel waits patiently
for its seasonal debut

briefly
lilacs bloom
in my parent’s backyard

impatient children
behind the door, Christmas waits
Dad sips his coffee

edited to

Christmas morning.
the children wait impatiently
while Dad sips his coffee

This haiku really brings home the feelings of anticipation for children and how excited they get on Christmas morning. Although the haiku simply states that dad is sipping his coffee, it is highly unlikely that he is unaware of the excitement in the house. He is just prolonging the suspense of the moment. I can picture my own father on Christmas morning, hair messed, bare feet, smoking a cigarette with his eyes half closed watching from the couch in the living room as we tore into the packages under the tree. Even though he was always the last one to get out of bed on Christmas morning, he seemed to end up being the one who played the longest. Starr

hot summer night
we kiss in the moonlight
Mom waters the flowers

smell of lilacs
through the cracked window
spring is in the air

Edited to:  

fresh lilacs
waft
through the cracked window

spring is in the air
through cracked windows
lilacs

the smells of
fresh mown hay
tickles the senses

Edited to:

there is a tickle
in my nose.
hay harvest

a glass of bubbly
party hats everywhere
a new beginning

edited to:

Champaign glasses raised
above the party hats
To new beginningse

bare feet in cool mud
squishing between my toes
a puddle…clean again

edited to:

Cool mud
Barefeet
A puddle . . . clean again

Muddy feet
A puddle
Clean again

blistering heat
volley ball in the air
feet dug in the cool sand

edited to:

feet in the cool sand
volleyball in the air
blistering heat

Sand in the laundry
Sand in my hair
Summer vacation.

edited to:

in the laundry
in my hair
sand

sand
in the laundry
end to a summer vacation