Haiku Kukai 7 - Open Topic Favorites
Roundtable Haiku • Millikin University, Fall 2010
Dad and his Fox News Nora Kocher (3) |
shades of black |
baby blues |
heating pad on my stomach Becky Smith (2) I thought this haiku was sweetly sad. It reminds me of a miscarriage or a painful experience. I can imagine a young daughter lying on her bed as her mother holds her hand…It’s a powerful moment between the two women. My friend had a miscarriage and her mom helped her through it more than any of her friends could, since none of them had dealt with being pregnant before. Jade |
Christmas morning— |
the reflection Jordan Pennington (3) |
sitting on a park bench, |
churchyard shadows Aubrie Cox (9) I love how this is an empty room. He isn’t confessing to the congregation or to any one person. He is confessing to himself and God. I also like the twist because it is the priest confessing, not the Catholic person. Becky I really enjoyed the complete imagery created throughout this haiku. A churchyard can very well be a happy place, but the focus is placed on the shadows to provide a dark atmosphere. Likewise, priests may be present in joyous occasions such as a wedding or baptism, yet inthis priest is confessing. A priest is sought for when members need confession, making the image of a priest needing his own confession very strong. The final line completes the haiku. Confession is comprised of two people, but this unique scenario leaves the priest to confess alone. The spiritual interpretation I take from this is that the priest is not alone, but sharing himself with God. A great haiku. I like that this haiku has religion in it, but it is also dark. The shadows illuminate the secrecy of the moment. Everyone makes mistakes and does things they regret, and this shows that priests even succumb to bad behavior and need to let it out. Hollie One of the most deliciously dark pieces we've encountered this semester, this haiku runs the whole gambit of deep and twisting emotions. Guilt. Betrayal. Loneliness. Sin. Shadows. Confusion. Doubt. The priest is in this room, with only his own thoughts and worries about his faith, and I can easily visualize the moon and trees or gravestones outside creating disproportionately tall shadows that surround his solitary figure. It's somewhat disconcerting, but very powerful. Jordan |
a secret kiss Becky Smith (3) |
wobbly Christmas tree Nora Kocher (5) I absolutely love this! It reminds me of my dog. Every year we put up the Christmas tree, we have these Santa Claus and snowman stuffed dolls we sit in the Christmas tree. And every year... my dog thinks that when we turn our backs, he can try to get them out of the Christmas tree. He always ends up getting caught and when he knows he's caught, he jumps and runs... and usually hits the tree with his butt and makes it wobble. Tara |
reaching out for help |
underage cleavage Susie Wirthlin (6) This senryu is not only shocking, but has a number of layers and key word choices that make this an excellent senryu. The way that the author focuses on the cleavage, rather than the girl, emphasizes that someone who would participate in such actions typically is focused on body parts rather than the person as a whole. The second line leaves just enough to the reader's imagination--is the "I" the bartender, or is the "I" someone buying the drinks for her. "Another" also implies that this is a reoccurring thing, despite knowing the girl is underage. It has a good balance of telling and leaving it to the reader's imagination; it has the best qualities of a senryu. Aubrie The first line really makes this haiku. “Underage cleavage”. It’s perfect. Cleavage has such an immature connotation with it, and it paints the picture of who the drink is being ordered for, the attitude of the person ordering drinks, and thus the circumstances of the haiku, very well. You can almost hear the annoyed sigh from the person ordering drinks when they see the smile plastered on the underage girl’s face when the drink comes, like she just got a great treat. Jackson I love the humor in this haiku! “Underage cleavage” is such a funny line—instead of referring to the girl, it is focusing on the part that is attracting this person. It shows the temptation the speaker is feeling as they continue to buy her drinks. Jade |
last Thanksgiving Aubrie Cox (6) This haiku is really well done. It's very bittersweet. I picture the speaker as a father who is making one last ill-fated effort to spare his young son's innocence before something he knows will destroy their worlds happens. He understands that letting the child win at cards won't change anything, but he's almost desperate to do anything. He knows that he's let his son down horribly, but he still wants to believe he can make it right. Nora |
he holds onto her Tara Goheen (4) i like this poem because i can totally relate to the experience. me and a girl spent our first few months inseperabtle because we thought we were falling in love. we are now good friends on the strains because of homework and duty, but a rpomise from the heartache she faced and the calmity of my past relationship made us fall head over heels. i really like this poem because it doesn't bring bad thoughts of relationships, just the ones that were never finished. Joseph |
behind the glass Jade Anderson I don’t know how I missed this one in class the other day, but I certainly did. It made me go “Ouch” and flinch after I read it, and that’s how I know it’s a good haiku. I picture a mother visiting her son in prison. Her calling him a boy makes this moment even more poignant, and I find it interesting that the author chose “I taught to speak” instead of “I taught any of the other numerous things a mother teaches.” I think this makes the woman his mother in more than blood; blood is thin compared to love and I believe teaching someone to speak—to express ideas and curiosity and have opinions—makes a true parent. Ky I seem to be leaning towards the sad "family member in or going to prison" themed haiku this week. I think I wrote a similar haiku to this a few weeks back. This subject lends itself really well to haiku because it's easy to imagine the emotions (love, shame, sorrow, etc) a mother would feel seeing her son in prison, and you don't need to give the reader much more than the image. It's heartbreaking, but really beautiful at the same time, because you can see how much she loves him. If she didn't, it wouldn't hurt her to see him like that. Nora |
batting my eye lashes Becky Smith (4) |
wedding day, Grant Dartman (6) |
baking with mom Hollie Logsdon (6) I liked this poem because it seems to present a common phenomenon of human psychology that I never really thought about until reading it. It seems to say that people who are breaking bad news, saying something controversial, or being temperamental always have a task that they are involved with at the same time. Whether it be twittering their fingers, pulling on their hair, shaking their leg, or tapping on something nearby, people have a task or a twitch that they exert in order to engender a sense of familiarity in tight situations, by performing familiar actions. It really is a great haiku just for that reason. Alex |
slipper feet Hollie Logsdon (5) |
all day texting |
“Admitted.” Jade Anderson (8) |
dad asks about mom |
family back together Nora Kocher (2) |
late night |
deer watching Jackson Lewis |
inside this shell . . . Jade Anderson (10) This haiku totally explains my life at the moment. My shell is made of stress and it is almost like I ignore everything around me. I don’t enjoy the noise made by the ocean nor do I enjoy most other luxuries. It is basically explaining that when you let this shell control you, you will never enjoy. Becky |
thinking back Jordan Pennington (2) |
my ex's best friend |
late night drive |
car ride back Joseph Sparks The last line is awesome. I love the play on an old phrase; it makes it fresh and really makes the point. I think I probably like this one mostly because I can relate to it. Homework after Thanksgiving really is a storm. Ky |
an open book Joseph Sparks (6) |
black Friday Kylie Cochran (7) |
car ride to nowhere Tara Goheen I liked this one because I have taken many a car ride just like the one described. They call it 'cruising,' I call it wasting time, trying to find something better to do. I really enjoy that everything is came though. Driving is a very relaxing thing, for me anyway. When my nieces are tired and fighting the shut eye that they so desperately need, I simply take them for a ride, and they are asleep within 5 minutes. I liked this calming aspect of the haiku as well. It’s a good one. Alex |
lazy afternoon |
The forgotten line Joseph Sparks (2) |
watermelon on the porch |
family dinner Susie Wirthlin (7) I like this one because it seems like every dad is a bit ridiculous when it comes to stories. There's dads that tell stories because they enjoy the story so much, dads that tell stories over again because they forget they told it five times before, and dads that tell stories over again and exaggerate more every time. Every time I come home, my dad tells me the same story about 4 different times. It never fails. Tara What I love about this is the structure. I like how the last line of the haiku didn’t actually need to be added in, yet it fits in perfectly because it is consistent to the storyline of the haiku. I also like the frustrated tone that is associated with this haiku. Grant |
poetry partners: |
november wind Susie Wirthlin (5) |
I remember when |
Christmas Day Catholic Nora Kocher (4) This haiku really resonated with me. I used to be religious but am not anymore, and my family hardly ever goes to Mass, except for holidays like Christmas and Easter. And always, every year, it is my mom who pushes the family to go. I always end up going to please her and make her happy, and this haiku just perfectly described how I feel every Christmas: maybe not liking the religion, but in absolute devotion to the feelings of love and loyalty to the family. Susie This is very tender, and it's clear that there's an intense bond between mother and child that can pull the child to church, but only on Christmas and only in the back pew. It's a delicate balance between push and pull that is very translatable to the personal experiences of a number of different readers. jordan |
the word “aunt” before my name— Kylie Cochran (5) |
cutyourhairlosewieghttalktoboyschangeyourclotheswearmakeup Nora Kocher (7) I love the frantic pace and energy in this haiku. I also like how the second line is so abrupt and crude, perfectly contrasting with the frenetic whirlwind of the first line. The last line is both triumphant and sad: this girl knows who she is and who she doesn’t want to be, but at the same time, one can see the girl’s sadness at the fact that in this world, societal norms dictate who she should be, and that she is powerless to stop it. Susie I… love… this… haiku. I realize it is directed towards a female audience, and I like it for the same reason a woman with similar thoughts would, just from a third party perspective. In today’s society women are constantly told what is beautiful and what they should be like through commercials, movies, advertisements, and popular culture. Because of this men have a warped impression of the qualities they should find attractive in a woman. It all gets so bogged up in what everyone else says that sometimes you just have to force open some room for you and your self esteem. This poem does that. I also like the choice of capitalized words. It adds a punch to those words that polishes the haiku very well. Jackson INDIVIDUALISM!!?! i love it! everyone tells me to put on shoes, to cut my hair, wear pants, shave, stand straight, stop laughing, do your homework, have a favorite color, have one genre of music to listen to; NO WAY! as a DotNet, i am labelled as someone who doesn't like labels, and that label suits me just fine. props to nora on this haiku, I LOVE IT! Joseph |
on top of the sky |
icy touch |
loosening your grip Jade Anderson (7) The contrasting play on words associated with the relationship between two close individuals made this haiku stand out to me. The narrator begins by commenting on the other persons slipping grip first instead of their own. The second line conveys the writer's response of trying to continue holding on. While the reader is hoping for the tightening grip to make a difference, the shattering third line confirms our fear of loss. No matter how hard the writer holds on, the loosening grip of another will determine the fate of their connection. Tyler loosening your grip |
nighttime kisses |
old card deck Aubrie Cox (7) I really like the different ways this haiku can be interpreted. At first glance I think of someone doing a magic trick and the audience has seen the trick so often that they know which card to look for. Another interesting scenario I think about is a high school reunion, where everyone has changed but people can still recognize the “bent cards” who come back. Grant |
seating the elderly |
© 2010, Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.