Alexis Iffert • Alexis' Haiku •

Haiku Fortune Cookies For my haiku project, I decided to make fortune cookies and cleverly insert my haiku inside of them. Originally, I had planned to simply put my already written collection of haiku inside of the tasty treats. However, my typical haiku were not written as fortunes in the least bit. Therefore, I wrote a whole new series of silly haiku and senryu based upon fortunes and predictions for the day. After I finished writing my new haiku, I realized that they were all bad fortunes and could even be labeled as "warning" cookies. Nonetheless, I found them to be very entertaining and fitting to my haiku personality and proceeded with the baking. My "fortune" haiku certainly do not follow the main guidelines and rules of writing haiku. However, I have come to realize that almost none of my haiku and senryu strictly follow the rules, one reason I find them most representative of my writing style. I hope you enjoy the cookies, Dr. Brooks! Attached is a copy of all of the new haiku I wrote for this project. —Alexis M. Iffert alone in the woods bad idea late afternoon watch out for puddles don’t walk in the grass lawnmower man careful walking beneath the trees bird shit overgrown weeds watch out for the dog turd study all night impossible final run quickly for your life squirrel attack careful on the crosswalk speeding car runs a red screeching tires your body makes a thud don’t pet the friendly dog he’s rabid bring Kleenex to your next class unexpected nosebleed careful who you kiss herpes virus take the stairs in Shilling elevator jams chicken patties in Wornick salmonella cute little puppy poops in your lap no more chocolate bad case of the runs watch out for stray cats they bite peeping over someone’s paper caught by the teacher